By Nathaniel L. Akers
Being angry with God, I tried to Disqualify myself by being to messy for God to use;
it didn’t work…
Here is my journey
The Altar of God a sacred place
Frustrated with life I hid my face.
Stepped out of my lane to be disqualified
Got on the boat like Jonah to go to the other side.
Feet always wearing my running shoes
All this running left me black and blued.
Stories the same no where to hide
Nothing I could do made me disqualified.
Try I did, but Oh the pain
In all the trying I have me to blame.
Architect of an irreversible mess
the book of Jonah will tell you the rest.
Unknowingly I began to live a lie,
the life I lived made me want to die.
Destructive behavior I entered in
I know this was a fight I could not win.
Sexual perversion was only the start
with drugs and alcohol I filled my cart.
Pushing it to a oh so familiar place
Where the bones of men was there only trace.
Mad at life, it beating the hell out of me
Beating me so badly that I could not see.
Beating with sadness til my head hung down
I looked like a puppet and felt like a clown.
Beating me senseless and I didn’t even care
Beating me into a spiritual intensive care.
Didn’t go to jail until years four score
God showed me a vision of the bars slamming the door.
Got in the Army to finish the race
Need less to say I Left there a disgrace.
Lost my family in a fit of rage
Sometimes I wish I could turn the page.
Yet, all of this was the works of my hands
Trying to get away from what God planned.
Trying to step out of bounds didn’t want to play
But it was no game and I am a mess today.
Trouble mounting from that enemies attack
Don’t feel like I will ever get back.
Foolish man all full of pride
thinking I could get “Disqualified”…
